Baby Shower: Second Baby Etiquette

Baby showers are a time of joy and celebration and should never be a source of stress. So the new mommy should not have to worry about whether or not her second (or third) child deserves a shower and if it is or is not appropriate. But if there is concern, here are some things to consider to help make the decision.

Gender of the Newborn

Is this baby a different gender than the other child/children?

If the current pregnancy is with a boy and the mommy has only girls or vice versa, then it is generally acceptable to have another shower so she can get items specific to that gender.

Baby Items

How much is left over from the last baby?

If this pregnancy was unexpected and most of what mom had was given away, leaving her in need of pretty much everything, then it’s fine to have a shower for this baby.

Twins or Multiples

Is this pregnancy for twins or triplets?

Even if the mom already has a lot of things from her previous child(ren), a multiples birth means she will need twice (or three times) as much as she did before so it is perfectly fine to have another shower.

Keep in mind that if the idea of having another shower makes the mommy feel uncomfortable and she doesn’t feel it’s appropriate or necessary, then it’s probably best not to have one. Something that is meant to be joyful and fun should not be causing her undue stress.

Baby Sprinkle Instead of Baby Shower

Another idea to consider is a baby “sprinkle” that is often used in lieu of another shower. This is a smaller version, with fewer people invited (sometimes family only), and it is either requested there be no gifts or specific requests are made only for the items needed. This can either be done through a small baby registry or guests can contact the mommy directly to ask if she needs anything specific.

A note can even be included on the invitation stating something like:

“This is a ‘sprinkle’ and merely a celebration of the baby. Guests need not feel obligated to bring gifts but if you would like to bring something please contact ‘Mommy’ to inquire what might be needed.”

Diaper Party for Baby

An additional option is to have a “Diaper Party” after the baby is born. It’s a chance for people to see mom and the baby after delivery (usually a few weeks after), they will be supplied with much needed diapers, and no one has to feel like they must buy unnecessary gifts. Even if the mom has leftover cloth diapers from her previous baby, disposable ones are still needed for outings, so every baby needs diapers!

Diaper parties can also be done before the birth, instead of during a baby shower or sprinkle. Regardless of when it’s done, state on the invitations that it is a diaper party and guests are requested to only bring a package of diapers, any size. This will prevent guests from feeling like they should buy something anyway (even when “no gifts” is stated) and they will be happy contributing to something that every new baby needs.

Each circumstance is different but even if it’s not really appropriate to have another baby shower there are still other options that allow mommy to celebrate the joy of her new baby, which every mom and baby deserves. A shower, a sprinkle, a diaper party, a family gathering, or nothing at all, mom should pick the option that suits her best and enjoy herself. This should be fun!

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